AIRPLANE!

“Is there anyone on board who can land this plane?”

That’s Leslie Neilsen’s question in the 1980 slapstick comedy Airplane! and a line that kept repeating in my head as I listened to the doctor.

Let me rewind and explain how I boarded this plane in the first place.

Terry and I visited North York General Hospital yesterday morning for an appointment with my oncologist Dr. Goldman. Any hopes that this visit would be my last quickly disappeared as the doctor began our meeting with a puzzled look on his face.

“I’m not quite sure how to proceed with your case. It’s quite unique in that I’ve never seen a solitary tumour like the one you have resist six rounds of chemo.” He continued. “As Dr. Parker at Sunnybrook suggested, it may be a low grade lymphoma that does not pose any immediate risk. However, an aggressive lymphoma like the one you had almost always begins with a low-grade tumour. Something triggers it and then we have a real fight on our hands.”

He carefully went on to explain his dilemma, “We could do more chemo but I hate to subject you to such procedure without a good probability of success. We can’t radiate because of the size and position of the tumour and I hesitate to do another PET scan because exposure to frequent radiation is a possible cause of lymphoma.” Dr. Goldman seemed frozen by this Final Jeopardy problem even though the category Lymphoma was his specialty.

The plane was beginning to nosedive and there was no sign of a co-pilot. Thankfully, one of the passengers came to the rescue.

Terry, who had been silent up until now, momentarily took over as navigator.

“Why can’t we do a CT scan in a few weeks and compare the results with the PET scan of December? If the tumour has grown at all, then radiation or chemo can proceed. If it’s unchanged, then we can continue to keep an eye on it in the future.”

The plane was back on course. Dr.Goldman seemed pleased with Terry’s flight adjustment and said his secretary would call soon with a CT scan booking.

And so, I guess I’d better keep wearing my seatbelt. My flight isn’t over yet but it’s reassuring to know that my wife can help with the navigating.