During our time in Ottawa last week, I made two visits to our daughter’s neighbor Ken whom I wrote about in a blog entitled Engineering Hope last October.
Ken is struggling with brain cancer and his wife Norma was eager to see me to ask a few questions about her husband’s upcoming chemotherapy sessions. However, when I dropped in, Norma was at the drugstore. A sign on their front door welcomed me. It read:
Mike, come in. Ken is upstairs in the second room on the right.
Tentatively, I moved along the hall leading to the back bedroom. Ken was lying down on his hospital bed but he waved me in when I called his name.
“Hope you don’t feel like I’m barging in on you, Ken,” I began. “Haven’t seen you since last fall. How are you feeling today.”
“I’m OK. I still can’t find my umbrella but I don’t think it’s very true now,” he answered in a friendly tone.
For a man who has a PhD in engineering, I was momentarily baffled.
“Last time we spoke Ken, you were on a special diet. How’s that going?”
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Norma. I don’t think…I just don’t know what to say to you about that. You know ….. well, I can’t remember who I am some of the time.”
I was devastated. One of the most brilliant men I had ever met was having trouble processing simple questions. For the next fifteen minutes, I talked about the weather, Ken’s family, the ratio of male to female students in engineering classes, Norma’s bridge game and my conviction that natural sunlight is the best medicine against cancer. Unlike Terry, I don’t excel at carrying on a conversation so the duration of my visit was awkward to say the least as I tried not to embarrass Ken with needless questions.
When Terry and I visited the next day, Norma was there to explain that her husband had recently been diagnosed with fluid on the brain and that he was about to begin taking prednisone to reduce the swelling before he starts his chemotherapy. As she spoke, Ken was pouring cream into a glass of water instead of his coffee.
“I hope things will improve soon,” said Norma. “I’m not sure I can manage much longer.”
Terry’s years of nursing expertise helped to calm Norma’s fears as she explained the wide range of medical and social services that were available to her husband. I reminded Norma to enlist the immediate support of family and to keep a journal to record her husband’s condition for the benefit of doctors and health care professionals.
Writing a blog whose theme is cancer has led me into deep waters over the past year or so with friends Jacques and Larry. It’s also taken me to the shore with the wonderful news that friend Andre is now completely cancer free.
Amazingly, despite being surrounded by perilous cancer seas, Ken usually has a sunny smile on his face while Norma continues to hope for a blue sky tomorrow.
And after all, isn’t that the best way to be when you’re out sailing on the ocean.
No comments:
Post a Comment