PINE BOXER

"I'm sorry but we really don't plan to move anytime soon. We're actually pine box people. Have a good day."

"What real estate outfit was that?" I ask Terry as she puts down the phone. "And why do you have to be so nice to them?"

Telephone calls from realtors asking if we'd like to sell our home always put me off. Although we always respond in the negative ( my favourite answer is that we're going out feet first ), the selling of our house in the future is an eventuality.

But using real estate just isn't our style. We've only sold two houses in our marriage, both by just putting up a sign on the front lawn. The first time was in Newmarket in the 70's when, much to the chagrin of our neighbours, we actually posted the asking price, $47,900, right on the sign.

An article in the Toronto Star last week described a more creative selling approach. A Calgary woman has decided to run a contest for her home in the depressed Calgary market. Participants have a chance to win her house in exchange for a $25 entrance fee and a compelling 350-word letter. There will have to be 60,000 admissions to reach her target price of 1.5 million and she's on track to do just that. Although I'm really not sure how one wades through thousands of stories, some of which are undoubtedly fictitious.

Another novel idea that Terry came up with was to sell our house to a PSW and his or her family on the condition we could still live in one of its rooms and that as we age,  they would care for us. Again, a great idea but one I think could go sideways very easily.

"Just maybe we could share our house with another couple," I suggested yesterday.

"You mean when we have company over, we're really just holding auditions," Terry quipped.

"I suppose you could look at it that way," I replied sheepishly.

We both laughed.

"Mike, is this your way of saying you don't ever want to move out of this house?"

"Well, as long as the roof doesn't leak and our neighbours aren't mass murderers, I really do think I am a pine box person."