RULE 3

 Rule 3:  Make friends with people who want the best for you.

This chapter of the book takes sixteen pages to describe what bad friends are and one page to talk about the value of good friends. I don't quite get the math there. Maybe the author has a dimmer view of  mankind than me.

In any case, Peterson explains the pitfalls of having "friends" who don't have your best interest at heart. We all have such people in our lives. Year ago, I asked a priest's opinion on how to handle a very needy person in my circle of acquaintances. His advice was to give the individual one good hour of my time per week. In a sense, continue to make contact with him but limit my exposure. Otherwise, you run the risk of falling into his black hole, he cautioned.

Good friends, according to the author, "support your upward aim and will not tolerate your cynicism and destructiveness. They will encourage you when you do good for yourself and others and punish you carefully when you do not."

My take on it is a bit simpler.

Good friends raise the bar for us; bad friends lower it. 

Good friends can pick up a friendship where they left off years ago; bad friends don't last that long. 

We always make time for good friends; bad friends abuse the time we give them.

Good friends call us out when we screw up; bad friends usually don't care enough to notice. 

Good friends are gifts; bad friends are liabilities.

My friend Mario asked me if I thought our friends change with age and circumstance. I certainly think so.

As I get older, my innately foolish need to make comparisons diminishes. All seniors are in the same leaky boat. The knowledge that we'll all need life jackets sooner or later has undoubtedly something to do with the fact that I now have more wrinkly friends than ever.