Putting up the Christmas tree is a task that I’ve always owned in our household. Back in the day, when we had small kids, Terry always ensured that the wee ones were out of earshot as invective often filled the air as I struggled to make sure the tree didn’t end up looking like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Often she’d crank up the Christmas music just in case. Have you ever tried to concentrate on a task while having Alvin, Simon and Theodore screech at you?
Everyone marvels that we still buy a real tree. Despite the allure of the artificial ones, there is something special about bringing a sweet smelling evergreen inside your home until you realize that it’s too tall for your living room or that its trunk is so crooked that you’ll have to wire it to the ceiling to ensure it doesn’t topple on Santa.
We used to make a family outing to Horton’s Tree Farm to find just the right tree. Now I scurry from Food Basics, to Loblaws, to Canadian Tire looking for a store that doesn’t prepackage trees in that annoying plastic mesh. I mean really, how can you buy a tree that’s in a straight jacket? Luckily, Home Depot still lets their trees go au naturale.
This year, to avoid any chance of hearing my George Carlin imitation, Terry took off to Ottawa for a few days of grandchild therapy.
“How’s it going with the Christmas tree?” Terry calmly asked when she called to check in on me.
“Great,” I replied curtly. She knew something was wrong by the tone of my voice. Apparently, strains of A Boney M Christmas playing in the background couldn’t hide my angst.
“What’s the matter this time? Did you scrape paint off the ceiling like you did last year or are you looking for some wire to hang the tree with?”
It sounded like she still hadn’t unpacked her empathy.
“No, the tree is just the right size this year. And I’ve got it standing as straight as a soldier. No, my problem is I can’t find the lights. Any ideas?”
“If they aren’t in the Christmas boxes, I haven’t got a clue,” Terry replied. “Maybe we threw them out.”
While some families have traditions like sipping eggnog or singing carols at Christmas, we have the habit of inadvertently tossing out decorations every year or two.
“I’ll keep looking. Do Janice and Kevin have their tree up yet?” I asked.
“Yes, it looks great for an artificial one. Maybe we should go that route next year,” she added, totally oblivious to my obsession over real McCoy trees.
“And Mike, hopefully you can do some Christmas cards while I’m away. I left the list on the dining room table and the cards are with the winter coats under the stairs.”
“I’ll get to that as soon as I find the lights,” I answered impatiently. I’m not a multi-tasker like Xena.
After hours of searching, I finally did find the lights. You guessed it. They were tucked away with the Christmas cards.
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