HAPPY TRAILS TO YOU

We will say our final goodbyes to my brother-in-law Tommy this morning as he is laid to rest beside his mother and father at St. Michael’s cemetery in Orillia this morning.

Here is my eulogy for Tommy at the memorial service yesterday.


Today is a day of some sadness but it’s also a day of great joy and celebration because if heaven can be compared to Disneyland, we all know that Tommy earned his speed pass a long time ago.

Tommy’s life touched more people than you can imagine because unlike most of us, Tom actually had four families.

One of his families was the family at the Huronia Regional Centre in Orillia where he lived over forty five years. Tom had many friends there and I can still remember his pal David who always had a ready smile, his roommate Terry who gave the best back rubs for 25 cents (now there was an enterpreneur) and friend Brock MacMaster who talked more like the owner of Huronia than a resident.

Some of the staff at Huronia became very close to Tommy over the years and in fact one called Tilly became his life long girl friend. However, having a girlfriend never stopped Tommy from enjoying the company of any pretty girl who passed his way, especially blonde ones.

Tom moved to the Maple Health Centre five years ago and it soon became a member of a new family of very caring people who always treated him with utmost respect and dignity. Most of them knew him for his warm hugs of appreciation and his passion for all things Batman.

Maple Health was a wonderful home for Tom. In addition to providing personal care, Maple Health organized regular field trips for residents. Tommy enjoyed his visit to a farm, a car show, an outing to the movies, even a boat cruise on Lake Simcoe. But really none of those could compare to his favourite outing of all, his trip to the Mandarin.

When we visited Maple Health on Monday to pack up his things, Terry and I were touched when we saw that he hadn’t been forgotten in his favourite room at Maple Health, the dining room. There at his seat were lifesize dolls of two of his very best friends, Batman and Superman.

Thank you Maple Health for being there for Tom 24-7

A third family that Tom belonged to was the group at REENA who ensured that Tom’s transition to Maple Health was a smooth one and who were always there to help promote his integration into the community. Of late, Tom would make weekly visits to Reena for lunch and time with some special friends. Thank you Reena for always going the extra mile to make sure Tom felt happy and valued.

And finally, of course, Tom was part of his own personal family which includes his sisters Karen and Terry, his brother Ken and his mom and dad, Iva and Jim as well as five nieces and three nephews.

Terry has often said that Tommy was the glue or maybe chocolate cake that held their family together. Tommy kept the love flowing.

Terry gave me a few words to say about Tommy when he lived at home.

Tommy’s mother Iva always made sure that he was treated just like all the other kids, taught manners, prayers and discipline. Tommy even had a job….If someone got stuck in the washroom without toilet paper, they called for Tommy to save the day.

He loved to play and seek and enjoyed watching TV, especially cowboy shows and game shows. The only thing that interrupted TV for Tom was the smell of fresh baked cookies and he made sure that he was first to sample them. Thus began his career as a food critic.

After his siblings grew up and had their own families, it was Tommy who insisted that everyone get together for dinners and parties. At the gatherings, he usually didn’t demand attention…he just enjoyed being with family and of course, eating.

From an early age, Tommy’s siblings realized that when you have someone special in your family, you have to set aside your needs and differences and be there for the special one.

When I first met Tom over forty years ago, I was surprised at just strong he was. He loved to grab me by the neck, put me in a head lock and mess up my hair. He would rub my scalp really hard and I thought it was great fun, our special way of bonding, until I woke up one morning and my hair was gone. Thanks a lot Tommy.

Today is a good day for memories and also a little honesty so here goes. Whenever Tom would come to our house for a visit, Terry would be busy making spaghetti or lasagna for Tom and she’d ask if I could watch TV with Tom.

Little did she know I loved watching cartoons and old videos with Tom while she was out slaving in the kitchen. Tom and I would sit back eating chips or pretzels and drinking root beer and sometimes hot chocolate. We’d usually start by watching The Lone Ranger, his favourite, followed by some Popeye and then Bonanza. He also was fascinated by the The Three Stooges and sometimes he’d almost be laughing as he watched some of their silliness. I’ll miss those special guy times and of course the great food that followed our strenuous afternoon in front of the TV.

In closing, we all know that Tommy had a lifelong fascination with superheros…maybe because they could do the things he couldn’t, I’m not sure. But deep down, I think Tommy always wished to be a superhero himself.

And, thankfully, five days ago, he got his wish.

Happy trails to you Tommy, until we meet again.


P.S. Tommy amassed a vast collection of superhero comic books and videos (many are VHS) over his lifetime. Should you know anyone who might enjoy them, please drop me a line.

P.P.S. After Tommy's passing last Sunday, Terry and I decided to pick up some Chinese food for dinner on the way home from the hospital. As we waited for our pick up order to arrive, I took a forture cookie from the counter.

"This fortune is for Tommy," I said as I cracked open the cookie. Here's what is read:

PACK YOUR BAGS. YOU'RE BOUND FOR AN EXCITNG DESTINATION.

Need I say any more!