OUR IGNATIAN RETREAT PART 5

When I was a boy, our family would often visit my Uncle Charlie’s farm near Midland. His farm had lots of dairy cattle as well as a few pigs and chicken. But what held my wonder were the horses that could occasionally be seen running through the trees along the north edge of his land.

“Who owns those horses? I’d ask him.

“No one,” he’d answer with a smile on his face. “Those are wild horses. I don’t know where they live but they come by most every day. No one has ever got too close to em though.”

At night, in my dreams, I would hurry after those horses hoping to get close enough to touch one of them but it never happened. No matter. The joy was in the chase.

As I continue to describe my faith journey, I feel a bit like that small boy again chasing the impossible.

Father Beaudois’ rimless zero metaphor continued to bother me for weeks after our meeting. After all, I was the iron man for almost forty years at Brebeuf College.

Then I realized that my imitation of Cal Ripken was just that, an imitation. The fact that I was able to amass more sick days than Dalton would ever approve of was not my doing. My health was a gift from God and I never really appreciated it until He pulled the plug on me. Too bad it took cancer to get my undivided attention.

I now realize that being a rimless zero is not a helpful metaphor unless it can be prefaced by two words, without God, I am a rimless zero. My existence was preordained by God from all eternity. My journey here is not random. Nothing is random remember.

I know it’s quite a leap of faith to think that way especially when one’s life is broken by tragedy or loss. Trusting in an uncertain future is easier for me when I realize that the phrase ‘Be not afraid’ is the most common phrase that appears in the Bible.

Further reading has lead me to a deeper look at the triune God, a fancy term for the three persons in the Trinity. It’s complicated stuff especially for a guy who has difficulty with IKEA assembly instructions.

Suffice it to say that for now, I’ve learned that God the Father is just that, a father, which makes me His son. Indeed, I am a rimless zero without that relationship, a relationship which entails gratitude for each new day, trust that any new challenge is part of a much bigger plan and a responsibility to pay it forward to others.

I know now I was never meant to catch up to those horses. Some things, like the Trinity, are best left as mysteries.

Apart from Me, you can do nothing.

John 15:5